


Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks

by Taayjaay



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bulimia, Eating Disorders, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:32:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taayjaay/pseuds/Taayjaay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has a problem with not thinking he's perfect. Harry knows he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks

**Author's Note:**

> Hi thank you all for reading my writing and being so patient. This isn't as long as I would've liked it to be. My URL on tumblr is teacuphaz and I appreciate your feedback and comments!

Nails For Breakfast, Tacks For Snacks

 

Louis coughed, gagging on his fingers as he stuck them further down his throat. He promised himself he wouldn't eat today. He promised, and after so long of sticking your fingers down your throat, you build up a resistance to gagging. Finally, after a few minutes of having his hand so far down his throat that he couldn't breathe, Louis choked, coughing up the sandwich Liam had brought him earlier. 

Louis bent over the toilet, vomiting the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl, regretting even opening the door today. Liam had brought him the sandwich. He couldn't just ignore it and be rude, so he ate it. Liam stayed for a half hour too before Louis could mumble some excuse about a sore stomach to force him out of his flat. A half hour was much too long to have carbs sitting in his stomach, and Louis knew his body had probably absorbed some of the empty calories already. He wiped his mouth and flushed the toilet, wetting his toothbrush to rinse away the acid burning his mouth.

He wouldn't eat his crackers tonight, that would make up for the parts of the sandwich he had digested.

Louis spat into the sink, splashing his face with cold water to wipe the sweat off his nose. As he turned to the adjacent wall, he looked into the full length mirror, lifting his shirt to reveal his stomach in the reflection. He pressed his fingertips into the soft flesh, fingers making small indents into the tissue. Louis eyes flew shut. The thought of how his body looked made him feel like throwing up all over again. He forced his eyes open, tears forming in the corner of his eyes as he made himself look at the reflection in the mirror. Soft sides that were slightly wider than the jeans that sat on his hips, tummy that bulged forward at the bottom; Louis was disgusted, and the tears fell down his cheeks of their own accord. Before he knew it, Louis was on his bathroom floor, sobs wrecking his throat as he shook. He was always like this after he threw up. He shouldn't have eaten.

Louis was the curvy one in the band, no doubt about it, and he'd always been insecure, but the comments and rude remarks could get trying. The fame was wonderful, but being constantly surrounded with your own failures and flaws had pushed stronger men than Louis to self destruction. Soon, Louis was tucking his stomach into his pants during interviews, crossing his arms in front of himself in public appearances, and borrowing Harry's oversized hoodies to hide his shame.

"Lou?" Harry's voice came cautiously from the other side of the bathroom door.

Fuck.

"Lou, are you ok in there? Liam said you were sick." Harry knocked on the door.

"I'm fine, Harry!" Louis called nervously, jumping to his feet to fix himself up before allowing his best friend into the stuffy room. "Just.... Give me a few minutes!" Fuck, Louis looked miserable.

"No, Louis, I'm coming in." And he did, opening the door to reveal Louis with a very pale, wet face. Harry froze, not knowing what he was expecting. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, uh, yeah Haz, I'm fine!" Louis stammered, wiping his face with the back of his hand.

"Liam said you were sick. I came to check on you. You look awful." Harry took a few hesitant steps toward the older boy. Louis looked so small and pale, it was almost as if he got too close the boy would run away.

"Oh no, I'm fine," Louis smiled weak and unconvincingly, "really, Hazza, I just thought I was sick, but I'm feeling better now." Harry took a few more steps toward Louis, standing face to face with him now.

"I heard you throw up. You started crying. I couldn't just leave you alone."

"Harry, I'm fine!" Louis didn't mean for his voice to project as loud as it did, but the empty walls of the bathroom echoed and startled both him and Harry. Harry chewed his lip, scanning Louis' face with his eyes.

"Lou, why haven't you been eating lately?" Harry's voice came out almost as a whisper. He sounded hurt, and Louis' heart froze in his chest.

"What- I don't-"

"Louis, why haven't you been eating lately?" Harry sounded softer this time, but more stern and sure of himself. He took another small step towards Louis so that their bodies were almost touching.

"I have been eating, Harry. Me and Liam just ate sandwiches."

"Louis." Harry repeated, voice getting louder. "We've been out to eat seven times this month while on tour. You didn't eat any of those times. I haven't seen you eat much this whole month. Can you please tell me what's going on?" Tears started to form in Louis' eyes, and Louis' breath shook. He didn't want to be exposed like this, it was embarrassing.

"I just ate a sandwich-"

"Which you threw up."

"Well I'm sorry not all of us can eat whatever we want like you can!" Louis brought his hands up to cover his mouth, eyes slamming shut and tears spilling down his face and over his fingers. He didn't mean to say that. He didn't want to see the look on his face right now.  
Louis' body started to shake with silent, unpreventable sobs.

Louis felt long arms wrap around him, holding the back of his head in large hands that pressed him against the younger boy's chest. Louis placed his arms around Harry's back tightly, and his sobs finally release as he cried. Harry's hands moved through Louis' hair and down his back as calmly as he could, but confirming what he'd known about his best friend for so long hurt, and before he knew it, tears were falling from his face into Louis' hair. Harry rocked the boy back and forth, kissing his head and holding him, protecting him, making sure he knew he wasn't alone. 

"Louis, you are so unbelievably perfect. Please don't hurt yourself." Harry whispered, lips brushing through the smaller boy's hair. 

"It's just so hard... Everyone is so judgemental." Louis hiccuped, sniffling as his body relaxed some of its tension.

"That's their problem." Harry released Louis' body, moving to hold his face between his hands. "I think you're perfect. I don't think you could ever get better, and I don't like when you do things that make you unhappy. It's not worth it." He pressed kisses into each of Louis' cheeks, loving the way Louis leaned into his kisses. Harry's heart stopped in his chest as he looked at Louis' face looking up at him. Both of his hands were still holding Louis' face steady, and he could feel Louis' short breaths on his face. The boy looked up through his eyelashes, a calm spreading over his face. Harry leaned in to press his lips to Louis' softly, smiling when he felt Louis make a small noise in the back of his throat. When they pulled apart, Louis touched his fingers to his lips. "You are so beautiful." Harry affirmed, wiping Louis' wet eyes with his thumb.

"I love you." Louis breathed, inching hesitantly closer to Harry's lips again. 

"I don't want you to feel like you have to destroy yourself to be what others want. You are everything to me." Harry's voice spoke next to Louis' ear. He younger boy held on as tightly as he could, trying to physically show Louis how much he needed him. Louis held on, not really sure why he felt he needed to hold Harry so tight, but he thought that maybe if he let go, Harry would disappear, and more than anything right now, he didn't want that.

"Come with me."

Harry pulled Louis into his bedroom by the hand, laying him down on the bed and crawling on top of him. Louis whimpered as Harry leaned down to kiss his lips again, pressing his whole body upwards to be as close to Harry as he could. Harry sat up on Louis' hips, pulling Louis up with him so that he was seated in the older boy's lap, and he began to remove Louis' shirt. Louis grabbed his wrist in hesitation, but Harry shook his head, ignoring the protests as both of their shirts were slowly removed and discarded. Harry laid Louis down, travelling down his body to plant tiny kisses along the boy's stomach and sides, nuzzling against the soft skin with his nose and cheek when he felt Louis' soft laughter shake his tiny body. He moved up once again to take one of Louis' nipples into his mouth, sucking gently and flicking his tongue over the soft skin before doing the same to the other. Louis' breath hitched, hands running along the expanse of warm, pale skin on Harry's back.

"I'm going to show you how pretty you are, baby." Harry breathed, waiting hesitantly until Louis finally nodded, shy and reserved as opposed to the usual bubbly Louis that brightened up the whole room.

Harry gently undid Louis' pants and pulled them off, looking into the boy's eyes as he fully undressed him. His mouth travelled to Louis' thighs, smiling and nibbling on the tanned skin against his lips.

"You're so so beautiful, Louis. God, you don't even know." Harry's tongue licked up Louis' hard shaft, licking his tongue over the tip before taking the boy fully into his mouth. Louis' whimpers were muffled by his fist, eyes staring into Harry's in disbelief. Harry sucked and licked the shaking boy beneath him, enjoying the perfection that was the boy he'd needed for so long. He sucked a finger into his mouth, wetting it enough to circle Louis' tight hole and press the tip in while still sucking.

"Harry..." Louis whined, head tossing back in desperation and slight discomfort. Harry soon had three fingers moving in and out of Louis, being as gentle as possible while scissoring his fingers and kissing Louis' tummy, legs, and anything he could press his swollen lips to.

"Harry please..." Louis' breath was so quiet, breath laboured and lips wet and bitten. Harry worked his hands along his own cock, covering it with the wetness of his mouth.

"Louis. You are so perfect. You can have anything you want." Harry was face to face with Louis, one hand holding him over the other boy and the other hand positioning him at his entrance.

"I need you." Louis gasped, lips reaching up to touch Harry's as the younger boy pressed slowly deep into him. Louis' voice came out as a whine, head moving to bite into Harry's broad shoulders to block the tear that were spilling out of his eyes. He honestly didn't know where his tear were coming from. Louis had been in more pain, but he was just surrounded by Harry in such concentration that the emotions began to spill off. Harry kissed Louis' neck waiting for his approval, and at last, they were moving in sync, hips meeting as Harry moved in and out of the wrecked boy.

Harry was raised above Louis, smiling like he couldn't believe his luck. Louis' tears were still running down the sides of his face, and Harry wiped them away constantly. Louis had never been looked at like he was the most beautiful thing to ever exist, and it was overwhelming to see the way Harry was looking into his eyes. For the first time, he smiled back at Harry and realized... He was moving painstakingly slow.

"Harry... Move... Give it to me." Louis shocked himself with how dirty that sounded, smiling shyly as Harry's jaw fell open, then turned into a smirk as his hips snapped right into Louis' prostate. "Holy shit, Hazza, fuck.... Right there." 

Louis was a whimpering mess, hair sticking to his forehead now as Harry wrecked him. Harry was relentless, rolling his hips in the way that made Louis shake and sob, tears falling even faster now as the feeling of what his body was going through matched the emotions that were tearing him apart inside. Harry wrapped his fingers in Louis' hair, kissing the boys face everywhere he could while trying to please him as well as he could.

"Louis you look so pretty like this." Harry smiled, wrapping his hand around the base of Louis' cock and pumping along with his thrusts. Louis sobbed harder, hips losing their rhythm as his eyes glassed over. Harry felt shots of Louis' cum against his stomach, wet and hot on his skin as Louis panted through his orgasm. One more thrust and Harry spilled into Louis, muffling his moans into the older boy's neck.

"Harry." Louis whimpered. He didn't want Harry to leave him. He didn't want to be left more vulnerable than before. He got so caught up in the moment that he didn't even think that Harry might just be taking advantage of him.

"Yes, love?" Harry cooed, nuzzling the side of Louis' face with a grin as he pulled out.

"Please don't leave." Louis spoke quietly, sounding smaller than he ever had before. Harry sat up, pulling Louis into his lap and holding him tightly to his chest.

"Louis I would never leave you. You're the most perfect person, inside and out, and I don't think I could ever leave. I'm so sorry I didn't stop you sooner, I was just so scared and-"

"Harry. It's not your fault. You can't stop me from being insecure, but you can help me. Thank you for even caring." Louis smiled contented, closing his eyes and resting his head on Harry's shoulder as he relaxed his small body. Harry rocked him back and forth, kissing his hair.

"We're going to get you all better. I'm never going to let you forget how beautiful you are again. Now what do you say we go or and get some real food in you? I can't have my perfect boy going hungry." Louis smiled up at his best friend, nodding in agreement.

"Lets get cleaned up first though."


End file.
